The Colorful Ramblings Of Dale Elvis Meisner

Stability

Wed, 04 Jul 2012 20:22:39 -0400

Life comes and goes. Experiences fade in and out of my life on a whim, and the earth continually shifts underneath me. I hate my job, I hate that I’m not in school.

The one positive thing that Johnny Rockets has brought me is a circle of friends, people I can count on. I’m afraid if I leave that job, I’ll lose that. Because at the end of the day, that’s the only thing I can count on.

Steve will be in his chair, playing PS3. Corey will be shirtless in his room smoking a cigarette. Jamaal will be right there next to him playing League of Legends. Jarred will need a ride home at some point, and will hand me a small stack of wrinkled one dollar bills for giving him one. Jason will walk in the door at 1am smoking a blunt, about to roll another.

And I’ll be on my porch, sitting and watching the traffic, chain smoking my lungs into oblivion.

As always.

I've reached that point

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 02:01:28 -0400

It’s a point where I’ve realized just how the choices I’ve made, good and bad, are falling into place to shape my life to come.

I want

Fri, 25 May 2012 15:32:07 -0400

A job that doesn’t treat me like a soulless tool to use and then shove aside when convenient. A family that isn’t slowly crumbling every day. A day to day life that doesn’t discourage every bit of hope I can glean from it.

While I’m at it, a million dollars wouldn’t hurt, either.

It would be so easy

Mon, 07 May 2012 14:56:30 -0400

I could find a sample, chop it, warp it, process the hell out of it, slap a bass line and a beat on it, and call it “instrumental hip-hop”. But I get bored, displeased with the simplicity and repetition. I add to it and try to make it more complex.

And then, it falls apart, barely salvageable from how badly I’ve fucked with my original idea.

It’s hopeless.

The ladies, they love me

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 14:49:01 -0400

The only problem is, I can never have it easy. I can never just get the “I like you a lot, let’s hang out”.

It’s “I like you a lot, let’s hang out on occasion, but not too often, or for too long, because things are complicated because of my on-again-off-again boyfriend. In the meantime, here’s a sexy picture.”

And then shit happens and we don’t talk for like 3 weeks. Then rinse and repeat.

It would have been two years today.

Sat, 10 Mar 2012 16:13:33 -0500

Fuck.

So, the bitch is finally going through with her plans to move to the Rocky Mountains

Tue, 06 Mar 2012 16:53:24 -0500

Maybe it’s time I finally reapply at the Apple Store.

I have a dream sometimes

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 03:35:49 -0500

It’s not a bad one, per se, it just makes me nostalgic for the past.

I’m sitting on my old, strange, Jetsons-styled couch with my ex, talking about our lives, past and present, strange, introspective things, different every time. Sometimes these things are so vague and metaphorical, they sound like nonsense. At a lull in the conversation, she suddenly gets up and leaves the room.

After a moment, she returns, all dolled up; her red hair (my favorite of the many colors she dyed it) perfectly done, her lips a bright cherry red, her eyes framed by a faint, but bright, shade of blue. She’s always wearing a certain outfit, a sheer, patterned, off-white long sleeve shirt, and tight black shorts. Basically, it’s how she looked whenever she wanted to…get my attention.

She stands there for a moment in her getup, and neither of us say anything. She breaks the silence after a moment, and simply says “It’s okay.” I ask if this is really it, and she calmly nods and smiles before walking out of the room again. Usually when I stand up to follow her, I wake up.

I don’t wake up to a feeling of hurt or longing, more a reassurance of the finality of the direction my life has pointed itself in. I spent the better part of two years preparing myself for the prospect of a marriage and a life with one person, only to have the rug pulled out from under me and that person suddenly turn into a ghost in the context of our lives together. I was thrust into a new life I wasn’t entirely prepared for, one that I’ve admittedly done a pretty damn good job of adjusting to. It’s been a long, painful road, but I finally have some idea where it’s going.

I’m no longer sore, but I still catch myself glancing behind me from time to time, if only for a second.

SUMMARY OF MY NIGHT

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 21:23:51 -0500

-Buy bass guitar
-Go home
-Plug it in
-Strum around like a retard
-Attempt to find songs to practice
-Strum around like a retard some more
-Smoke a cigarette
-More retard strumming
-Attempt the most complex song I can find
-Crash and burn miserably
-Start a beer
-Find a less complex song
-Attempt practicing
-Achieve moderate success
-Finish a beer
-Smoke a cigarette
-Practice simpler song more
-Get it 95% down pat
-Attempt more complex song once again
-Fail miserably
-Smoke another cigarette
-Proceed to play simpler song until the end of time

BASS SUCCESS.

First post in a long time.

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 14:14:06 -0500

What’s good, Tumblr?

Audio

Fri, 17 Jun 2011 13:40:57 -0400

Fat cat. (Taken with instagram)

Sun, 06 Feb 2011 00:27:37 -0500

Fat cat. (Taken with instagram)

Snowing. Again. (Taken with instagram)

Thu, 03 Feb 2011 01:40:49 -0500

Snowing. Again. (Taken with instagram)

I really need to clean my windshield. (Taken with instagram)

Tue, 18 Jan 2011 22:01:02 -0500

I really need to clean my windshield. (Taken with instagram)

Our new home. (Taken with instagram)

Sat, 15 Jan 2011 01:02:31 -0500

Our new home. (Taken with instagram)

As far as the Tucson/Loughner shooting goes, all I have to say is this: it was the act of a...

Wed, 12 Jan 2011 11:11:34 -0500

As far as the Tucson/Loughner shooting goes, all I have to say is this: it was the act of a disturbed individual who prematurely ended the lives of six people, including a 9-year-old girl. Regardless of anyone’s political opinions of it, it’s a tragedy.

HOWEVER, shame on you, Sarah Palin, for backpedaling and deleting your ‘don’t retreat, reload’ posts and trying to say you weren’t responsible in the slightest. Posting a map with crosshairs over congresspeople who disagreed with your stance is HIGHLY irresponsible from someone of your power, and even more irresponsible that you refuse to own up to it. If that image and those posts really had no part in inciting this attack, then why backpedal? Stick to your guns and don’t erase all trace of that campaign, or erase it and own up to your error in judgment. You can’t delete everything then say it was harmless. Those two actions conflict.

Make up your goddamn mind, woman.

Forward Motion

Tue, 11 Jan 2011 03:22:57 -0500

Was it really so long ago that you used to be alright?

It seems like only yesterday you had a plan; not an all-encapsulating plan, but a general idea. You knew what you wanted to experience in this world, and you knew how you were going to do it.

But slowly things changed - and with them, your plans. You sat and watched helplessly as the simple joys were removed from your life. You were conditioned by those above you to a stable life. Slower and more calculated, you moved at a “better” pace.

Quietly, you redefined your ideas of happiness to fit the life you were told you wanted to live. But the slight pause when you say, “I’m happy,” and the sad, lost look in your eye make it clear; this is not how you had hoped for it to be.

You used to be alright. What happened?

This Is Happening

Tue, 28 Dec 2010 10:51:56 -0500

I stressed about Christmas.

I wanted everything to go perfectly, I wanted it to be just right. I wanted the first Christmas Bonnie and I spent together to be amazing. And in the end, all of the stress was for naught.

I wrapped it as deceptively and cleverly as possible.
I hid it under the tree.
Her family finished opening all the other presents.
They all went to the kitchen to get food.
I handed it to her.
She looked confused.
She started opening it.
I got on one knee.
Her eyes got wide.
I forgot what I was going to say.
She finished opening it.
I found my words.

She said yes.

Christmas was just fine.

Dexter (Minor Spoilers)

Mon, 13 Dec 2010 10:11:30 -0500

Maybe the “shit got fucked up good” ending of season 4 spoiled me, but season 5’s “everything is okay” ending left me feeling really unsatisfied. :( That scene with Deb unknowingly confronting Dex and Lumen, though, that was powerful stuff. Here’s hoping season 6 is a little more well-balanced.

It’s the little things like this that keep me going. Love...

Sat, 02 Oct 2010 16:26:20 -0400

It’s the little things like this that keep me going. Love you too, Bonnie. :)